Noah's Monthly Update

 Meta note on this log: I’m going to decrease my writing on everything other than actual practice.  Too much study/conceptual stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. In April I continued with the prelim-tummo-jnanamudra sequence as a main practice.  I noticed various effects that seemed to be improvements.  Specifically that resting into the central channel in the moments of bliss was clear & it can take the form of electricity or spinal breathing.  Also that I could tune into a sense of lust/desire to increase the bliss and vacuity, depending on point in the sequence. I thought about how I’m not really doing the serious version of tummo in that I’m not seeing the dissolutions, nor am I ready for it.  But I do just need to be available in the moments of bliss, for whatever signs do emerge.  I noticed qualitative differences in ascending & descending bliss processes.  I also continued to experiment with brahmacarya & bandhas in the lower gates as an enhancement practice, findi

On cushion I continued with the sequence from prior months.  Of particular note was offering things that were closer to home (accompanied by lightness after); letting confession humble me & the slightly uncomfortable relief of admitting things; fully caring about others in bodhicitta meditation (with the foundation of seeing commonalities, then equalizing); adding in “privilege meditation” (a technique I devised to attempt to perspective-take with target rank group members); seeing all prayers as network of altruism which leads to having faith & prostrating as “getting with this program”; the water meditation coming to fruition (after 8 months) with all subtle aspects of the field dissolving into bubbles; adding “reverence meditation” (imagining myself at famous Buddhist places & feeling awe at age & size of tradition) to set up guru yoga; adding a gratitude contrast practice into my sequence.  I tried to tune into some ultra-light jhana factors to set up & amplify

 In February, I continued with the same practices from before.  I add a couple tummo hacks for stoking the fire.  I also started “letting it rip” (shoot up the spine) rather than the “slow & low” method I had been doing thus far out of an abundance of caution.  This new way was immediately & continues to be awesome, with the sense that the fire is massaging the petals of each chakra & ultimately causing a deeper sense of samadhi at the end.  Specifically I had some a&p’s with a sense of somatic opening that has likely continued to increase baseline wellbeing into April.  It has also correlated with chakra opening/healing that synced with personality insights that I’ll describe later.  These seem to be 2 sides of the same coin.  I also started adding some consort visualization at the beginning of tummo & noticed that lust energy sometimes worked well to further stoke the fire. In thigle breathing, I fortified the mixing of hot & cold sensations which led to a bli

In January, I continued with the formal practice from prior months, including the refuge, qigong & trul khor movements, chanting, prayers, guru yoga, breath focus, tummo, thigle breathing & dedication (a 1.5 hours sequence).  I continued to notice the range of experiences & sensations that arise within the tummo practice day over day, with less overall amplitude when physical energy is higher (cardio capacity) & also a steadily increasing comfort with the edge of retention over time.  Additionally, I continued to find the right balance between image & tactile sensation (real & imagined) in creating the experience of the fire.  Related to this, I started to feel that my potential with the practice would hit a ceiling due to lack of concentration ability.   There were some modifications I made to my formal practice sequence throughout the month.  I stopped doing the horse stance/qigong & savasana after realizing those techniques did not directly relate to

As a meta-note about this log, I am noticing my tendency towards longer entries with an emphasis on study & theory lately.  I don’t want to leave the specifics out because forming my paradigm is a key overall part of my path, even if not about direct meditation experience.  Also, as my practice has matured, the need for better conceptual knowledge has arisen.   For on-cushion in December, I gathered the tummo “hacks” from various retreats in a list to get a better overview & select what works for me.  Specific additions included envisioning/feeling the heat spread throughout & toroidally around the body; playing with actual vs imagined heat; learning to balance emphasis on seeing vs feeling heat; shaking & covering sense organs to help move bliss around.  A note from one of the retreats that the white thigle bliss should not overpower the fire motivated me to further bolster my heat development.  I had some interesting experiences, ranging from borderline unpleasant

In November, my on cushion practice was samatha, tummo & thigle breathing, in a cycle (in addition to other preliminaries at the start).  I noticed a strong feedback loop between them, as the tummo would create the necessary basis of heat & openness for thigle breathing, which would in turn would create a platform of bliss for the calmness of mind in samatha.   Off the cushion, I continued with the lust circulation practice recommended by my spiritual friend & found that it was helping clear deeper layers of tension & resistance.  It helped to relate this experience to the 4 levels of tantra & how they map on to increasing intimacy.  In our meeting this month, my spiritual friend explained that as I strengthen my solar plexus chakra (sense of self) via the fuel of the sex chakra, the heart chakra will naturally open.  This led to a few days of exaggerated bliss throughout the day, which was likely just an a&p phase influenced by practice techniques.  I also

In October, my formal practice consisted of the prayers that I had used for most of 2020 (refuge, bodhicitta, 4 immeasurables, 7 limbed prayer, dedication), as well as breath focus & the thigle breathing from last month.  I added in chanting colored seed syllables at each of the chakras as a way of further cleaning the energy system.  I also noticed that with the thigle breathing there tended to be an overwhelm of the tingly-bliss of the white thigle, which prompted me to start regularly adding in tummo in the beginning of my sequence, to ensure a solid base of heat.  With this tummo practice, I self generated as a deity (also using the mantra) from the Vajrayana retreat I was attending, feeling a good connection to the guru & deity from that particular lineage. I started to notice how tummo is all about various “hacks” one uses with visualization, breath & movement to generate imagined & actual heat.  Specifically I played with engaging vs relaxing the pelvic floor i