In October, I continued with my attempt at the Actualism method. The investigations of previous months continued. Writing this now, it seems unlikely that they provided any lasting effect, and certainly did not work at the time. I was struggling with social anxiety, depression and insomnia. My functioning was relatively low as I struggled to complete daily tasks and eat a healthy diet. I went through a phase of practicing certain social skills in an unbalanced way.
Much of my work with the Actualism method seems to have been attempts at scripting myself into a desired progression that did not match up with the realities I was facing. By the end of October, I was considering moving back into meditation as I was craving a more efficacious way. I can see that I was struggling with certain storylines that still continue now, 11 months later.
Much of my work with the Actualism method seems to have been attempts at scripting myself into a desired progression that did not match up with the realities I was facing. By the end of October, I was considering moving back into meditation as I was craving a more efficacious way. I can see that I was struggling with certain storylines that still continue now, 11 months later.
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