January 2017

I keep having what I call “micro-shifts” through the off-cushion investigations I’ve been doing lately.  These are not as significant as noticeable path shifts, yet I do feel something dislodge inside and it does not return.  The practices I’ve been doing are basically my own inventions but are inspired by bits and pieces of Mahamudra that I’ve assembled through talking to students, reading books and watching videos.  I admire this tradition for its ability to discriminate between different levels of awareness and different qualities within a given level.  Most of my “meditation-proper” recently has been around investigating a given quality off the cushion.  On cushion practice is more of an exercise in grounding and patience for me, whereas off cushion is where things get “deep.”

That being the case, this month it felt like there were the following “micro-shifts:”

• Time → timelessness/eternality
• Separation/distance to objects in field → luminosity/knowingness at objects in field
• Contracted thoughts → expanding into the “ground” of stillness between thoughts
• Contracted emotion → expanding into the “ground” of calmness between emotions
• Proprioceptive balance/inner compass → No vector/directionality in space

Each time these things shift I think “Eureka!”  Then days or weeks later I can see that more clean-up is required.  Thus I notice a certain ‘spiral’ structure to my path as of late: the need to return to the same investigations repeatedly, but at a deeper level each time.

In the other arena(s), Richard encouraged me to a develop more detachment, triggering a realization of how materialism has been affecting me.  I realize that healing individual psychodynamics is not enough if I still maintain the collective-cultural value system I grew up with.  It felt like I let go of many identifications surrounding this value system over a two week period.  These particular fruits have made this the least stressful month of my adult life.

When I returned to him with my findings, he pointed out an even more powerful detachment: whenever the “elephant” of hindrance arises in the mind, immediately chase it out, without requiring the reference/context to the emptiness of materialism.  He also mentioned abandoning clocks, maps and other physical artifacts of culture and ego (while still functioning in the world).  My cutting edge on this axis would be figuring out how to still “love and work” (ala Freud) without the emotional guidance system, cultural value system or other partialization processes in these arenas.  

Also, a fun convergence is occurring: about seven people popped out of the virtual woodwork this month and we now have little Seattle-pragmatic-dharma community going, with weekly meetups.