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June 2017

Another month of integration.  I kept practicing a technique I thought of at Amma’s last month.  It involved fusing my libido energy with the object of the energy.  The implementation was similar to the 3 steps of the perfect parent technique.  I belief that about five days of doing it produced a ‘micro-shift’ in that I now feel more balance & less impulse within my lower chakras. 

Out of that, I have noticed a dramatic decrease in barriers to romantic connection.  I’m able to more skillfully express my interest in potential partners very easily.  I am working on expanding that expression.   

I also got off of seroquel, which I have been using to fall asleep for the past nine years of my life.  I was doing Reggie Ray’s somatic descent practice one night & noticed that it relaxed my body.  The next night, I skipped the seroquel & relied totally on the somatic practice.  

After a week, I was able to fall asleep without that practice. I’ve continued with the nootropic.  The energy of it has clearly given my efforts in the dhamma a boost in recent months.  I had a couple difficult assignments at my job which showed me the value of working smarter not harder & releasing certain OCD work habits because they take too much time to maintain.  This re-prioritization has crept into other life areas & I notice myself gaining an overall thicker skin as I get more responsibility.   

For most of the month, I was maintaining regular habits of diet & exercise, cleanliness, qigong, affirmative prayer, gratitude statements & better media consumption.  SPUDS is working on releasing a website as a foundation for other other projects.  I began to work on publishing a morality map online since I do not believe that Buddhist morality training has truly been unpacked in a pragmatic & hardcore way.  Here’s the link to that - https://www.dharmaoverground.org/discussion/-/message_boards/message/6363460 

Overall, I feel a shift away from any sense of survival need or danger & towards the optimization of skill as the only metric or direction for my life.  There is an increasing sense of automaticity in the mind-body as well as the refusal to do unhealthy things. 

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