As I continued the mindfulness this month, the slight problemness of space (from last month) dissolved in a cessation & did not return. The sense of directional axes (i.e. facing forward) went away in one fell swoop, like the last bit of solid food being processed in a blender. It feels now like the blooming of cognizance is fused or molded into the space it occupies in a more refined manner that is less tainted by size & orientation. In general, the “noise volume” of the field has allowed me to tolerate negative emotions, physical pain & craving more effectively.
This “noise volume” effect is continuing to cause consistent therapy-type shifts. Early knots being resolved, ever-increasing openness in relationships, self-acceptance & a good “letting go” cry here and there. These things really do seem to cause reductions in conventional tension which abide & stabilize, which is pretty cool. Particularly since that weird chest kriya from last month I can frequently feel my solar plexus more loosely moving & shifting like an octopus, particularly in moments of love, vulnerability & conflict.
I tried taking several adaptogens & going off of coffee. This worked for several weeks but I eventually switched off the supplements & back on coffee when I had slight, sleep disturbance & less energy in the morning. I am still working through slightly high blood pressure as a lingering health obstacle. I’m trying out intermittent fasting also. For the first time, I was able to reduce the frequency of a personal habit that has caused me to obsess & lack energy over the course of my life. I’m trying to become more of a muggle for fun (although this rarely ends up staying as a habit), doing non-spiritual things like hiking, swing dance & exploring local restaurants.
I got to hang out with Daniel Ingram & the SPUDS in October & again this month, which was super cool (thanks Daniel for being so generous with your time & wisdom!). I went to a talk by Dza Kilung Rinpoche, which was illuminating. That talk, paired with a Keith Dowman weekend retreat from a couple months ago have confirmed that the understandings I have formed on awareness practices are likely in line with “the tradition” (used loosely).
The following things from last month have continued: expanding fund-of-knowledge for ego development; service as a primary motivator; off medications & insomnia; consistently good habits; sense of cleansing body (I went to a hot-cold bathhouse several times this month also -- highly recommended for somatic opening); reduced journaling; the “many faces” of presence rotating. These “many faces” are typically revealed in A&P events & include: seeing this reality as an illusion, deepening bliss/peace/ease throughout body-field oneness & potential psychic stuff like sensing other’s emotions, collective consciousness & deja vu. In October & November, it felt as if the process of integrating the movements of the attention muscle with the overall field-awareness was resolved, at least at one level. This was through the “intense mindfulness” practice during these months, assigned by my spiritual friend.
Comments
Post a Comment