In July I started hiking and I began to look at other things I could do with my time & energy. Over the past few months I had become increasingly productive and was finding menial everyday tasks easier. I also analyzed some of the ways I wish for automaticity of habits and how that can be limiting.
The results from my neurotransmitter test in July represented a major perspective shift and a revived sense of faith & inspiration in the meditative path. Since my happy chemicals were so low and I wasn’t on medication at all, the only way to explain how I had become increasingly high functioning over the past few years was contemplative development.
The naturopath gave me amino acids precursors for serotonin and gaba. I felt the effects in the first few days. They seemed to work better than previous times I had taken aminos, presumably because of the more expensive/fancy formulas from the particular brands.
Based on this confidence, I began to practice open awareness off-cushion again. I also looked at how to think and act as an expression of awareness, rather than just perceive from it. This reframing of awareness as a basis for solution, rather than the solution itself, was helpful. I examined some of the downsides of thinking of ‘shifts’ as static or binary entities. The amino acids helped me take a view of everything as ghostlike, transitory and perfect. This caused me to practice gladdening the mind and gratitude off cushion. After a couple weeks of this practice, I had a micro shift of a baseline increase to gratitude and positivity. The benefits from this are still around a few months later. I also looked more at awareness mixing practice - how all experience is suffuse with consciousness and visa versa. I also had some interesting experiences around nonduality of smell & taste + a decrease in mental talk + an insight into a psychodynamic narrative of feeling ‘left out.’
Towards the end of the month I began to read the Blue Cliff record of zen koans. I also thought about the paradigm of expansion and contraction quite a bit. My parents came to visit during this time frame. I got less sleep as a result and also tried a machine my mom brought called the ‘alpha stim.’ Both of these factors made me feel quite agitated for a few days.
The results from my neurotransmitter test in July represented a major perspective shift and a revived sense of faith & inspiration in the meditative path. Since my happy chemicals were so low and I wasn’t on medication at all, the only way to explain how I had become increasingly high functioning over the past few years was contemplative development.
The naturopath gave me amino acids precursors for serotonin and gaba. I felt the effects in the first few days. They seemed to work better than previous times I had taken aminos, presumably because of the more expensive/fancy formulas from the particular brands.
Based on this confidence, I began to practice open awareness off-cushion again. I also looked at how to think and act as an expression of awareness, rather than just perceive from it. This reframing of awareness as a basis for solution, rather than the solution itself, was helpful. I examined some of the downsides of thinking of ‘shifts’ as static or binary entities. The amino acids helped me take a view of everything as ghostlike, transitory and perfect. This caused me to practice gladdening the mind and gratitude off cushion. After a couple weeks of this practice, I had a micro shift of a baseline increase to gratitude and positivity. The benefits from this are still around a few months later. I also looked more at awareness mixing practice - how all experience is suffuse with consciousness and visa versa. I also had some interesting experiences around nonduality of smell & taste + a decrease in mental talk + an insight into a psychodynamic narrative of feeling ‘left out.’
Towards the end of the month I began to read the Blue Cliff record of zen koans. I also thought about the paradigm of expansion and contraction quite a bit. My parents came to visit during this time frame. I got less sleep as a result and also tried a machine my mom brought called the ‘alpha stim.’ Both of these factors made me feel quite agitated for a few days.
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