March 2020

I noticed the POI prominently.  March started with a strong a&p experience where I felt my consciousness “thin out” & expand beyond the limits of space.  This event has repeated itself several times & I can access it in other nanas, so I think it could be a legitimate preview of some powersy future baseline.  

I then felt guided to investigate thought as an obstacle to calm abiding progress.  I looked at teachers like Gary Weber & Vinay Gupta, who claim to have eliminated thoughts entirely.  I had some micro shifts related to seeing through the conceptual self. I also spun around in circles for a week until I realized that thought isn’t going anywhere (lol).  On a separate note, I tried sleeping significantly less for a week, thinking that my body chemistry had changed. Then I crashed & got grumpy (albeit only for about 3 hours - whereas it used to be 3 months).  

On cushion practice remained calm-abiding inspired by TMI.  I tried body scanning as a way to increase overall conscious power, with lukewarm results.  I played around a couple times with guru yoga & kasinas (in separate sessions) - they didn’t stick.  I maintained the off cushion practice with the smartwatch buzzer. I tried to find new off cushion strategies but they didn’t stick.

I had more thoughts on traditional vs progressive vs integral dharma, building on patterns from prior months.  It does feel like I’m slowly creating a more refined & useful conceptual framework. I also had some thoughts on possibly ordaining in the future.  I talked to Dhammarato about this & about how to integrate oneself at traditional dharma centers. His advice was helpful as always.

In terms of daily life, I began the process of starting an effective altruism club at my job.  This is a potential way to get a lot of donations to the most effective charities on the planet.  I had some more refined, healthy & balanced thoughts about pursuing a long term relationship (as compared to past attitudes).  I continued with a habit tracker app & over 10 healthy habits daily (including horse stance & stirring). It feels rewarding to have some of the self mastery that was my goal in starting the path 7 years ago.