December 2016

I restarted the meditation and other efforts once I got used to the job.  I had strong reactions to a couple challenging situations which highlighted a need to develop more detachment.  After a 12 hour work day, I deeply noticed the absurdity of perfectionism.  The power of this observation left a prolonged afterglow.

I was inspired after hearing a talk which included steps from ‘technical’ 4th path to buddhahood.  I began off-cushion awareness practices, resolving to move along this axis.  I have been successful in combining spaciousness, clarity of details, fusion of the 5 senses into one sphere, and disembedding from the witness so that the subject-object field merges effortlessly.  My hope is that by ‘holding’ this experience, it will begin to develop.

I wrote a chapter for a book written by Richard’s students, which helped bring perspective to the training I’ve done this past year.  The main lesson is that I control my actions, emotions and thoughts, which paradoxically can help me detach from the need to control them in the 1st place.  

Richard poked a hole in my perfectionistic approach and made me see how I am still being driven by materialism.  I have decided to drop the self improvement efforts which cause more stress than happiness.  I feel a great joy in knowing that I have a lot of self control but do not need to always exercise all of it.