On cushion I continued with the sequence from prior months. Of particular note was offering things that were closer to home (accompanied by lightness after); letting confession humble me & the slightly uncomfortable relief of admitting things; fully caring about others in bodhicitta meditation (with the foundation of seeing commonalities, then equalizing); adding in “privilege meditation” (a technique I devised to attempt to perspective-take with target rank group members); seeing all prayers as network of altruism which leads to having faith & prostrating as “getting with this program”; the water meditation coming to fruition (after 8 months) with all subtle aspects of the field dissolving into bubbles; adding “reverence meditation” (imagining myself at famous Buddhist places & feeling awe at age & size of tradition) to set up guru yoga; adding a gratitude contrast practice into my sequence. I tried to tune into some ultra-light jhana factors to set up &...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.