I had a major shift. I was talking to one of my mentors & felt the inner camera meet a bodily sensation where it arose. This was not only non-dual interoceptive consciousness (a type of luminosity - which I’ve had since March 2017). It wasn’t just that the object was awake in it’s own quadrant. Rather, the attentional correlate on “my side” was dancing with it - meeting it perfectly as it arose & passed away. A machine part had loosened. After poking at this for a few days, I realized ‘the camera always moves with the movie frame.’ In other words, I can’t tell what comes first: the thing witnessed or the witness. They effortlessly swing to & fro together. After that, things got weird. This new dance evolved into consciousness modalities such as: Like my sensory apparatus is a wormhole/vortex bending outwards/inwards to reality but also reality collapses back into my lens from behind Like the light of senti...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.