There were fun, fleeting cessations, insight experiences & fireworks off-the-cushion. There was an investigation of the upper fetters. Also I noticed a sense of awkwardness in a group setting, highlighting that my heart was still encased in duality. Seemed to open outwards in a subtle but sustained way for the past 3 weeks or so. I have noticed automatic, increased concern for other’s wellbeing & a general drive to do service. There was frustration around trying to improve/work on too many life things at once. I decided to layer in only 2 habits at a time, every 2 weeks. I’ve done 2 rounds so far, focusing on reducing physical laziness (slouching), attentional restlessness (no tv/music), financial & health waste (no heavily processed food, shop at supermarket) & isolation (get back into dating with more consistency). These are moreso “70% of the time” type attempts rather than 100%. Don’t want to be perfectionistic ...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.