I had another big perceptual shift. Leading up to it, I was practicing trying to not let coarse stress arise even for a moment by shutting it down immediately. This is one strategy in the Thai system I have trained in. Anyway, this latest perceptual shift has “scratched the itch” more than any other has. Although I don’t value it as a diagnostic criteria, I do feel much closer to a sense of “doneness” per the KF school of thought. It feels like I have just come home from a long journey & also that I now recognize, at all times, that I am just “little me” inside a larger version, “big me”, that is the world. This shift was much moreso about processing what is “out there” but it put a big dent in my internal reactivity, which I think happens as “out there” becomes increasingly magical/wondrous. Here’s some phenomonology: In late 2016 I started experiencing big space around me at all times, as if my consciousness was that space. ...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.