In the first week of July, I attended a retreat (alongside other SPUDS) with the spiritual friend that I have been working with since February 2017. Interacting in person allowed me to pick up aspects of body-language & general integration that I would not have otherwise. The concepts taught helped guide me towards a more service-oriented view of the path, as well as a matured understanding of the intersection of personal practice & society. The techniques taught helped me understand the nuances of motivation, emotional stability, concentration, investigation & choiceless awareness. I specifically realized that I could use my facility with freestyle noting to “hack” breath concentration. Some of the deepest psychotherapeutic healing I’ve ever had occurred & have continued over 2 months later (time of this writing). I found myself crying multiple times as early life memories arose & evaporated, leaving a greater sense of independence & conf...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.