I restarted the meditation and other efforts once I got used to the job. I had strong reactions to a couple challenging situations which highlighted a need to develop more detachment. After a 12 hour work day, I deeply noticed the absurdity of perfectionism. The power of this observation left a prolonged afterglow. I was inspired after hearing a talk which included steps from ‘technical’ 4th path to buddhahood. I began off-cushion awareness practices, resolving to move along this axis. I have been successful in combining spaciousness, clarity of details, fusion of the 5 senses into one sphere, and disembedding from the witness so that the subject-object field merges effortlessly. My hope is that by ‘holding’ this experience, it will begin to develop. I wrote a chapter for a book written by Richard’s students, which helped bring perspective to the training I’ve done this past year. The main lesson is that I control my actions, emotions a...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.