The shift from May continued. The ‘looseness’ of the attentional unit, dancing & mirroring the world ‘out there.’ It has been greatly freeing to recognize the way this part of the field is just happening. A practice theme this month was vulnerability, transparency & self-acceptance. Challenging self to be more honest than is necessarily comfortable, both internally & in dialogue with others. Feeling the emotions that this brings up in the body, while actively relaxing the muscles & general body structure. This led to thoughts about the relationship between my irritation-agitation patterns & the outside world, with the possibility of ‘unhooking’ those two things from each other. I also felt more in tune with my frustrations around libido & the ego knots which have been tied around that. Relatedly, I worked more on bodily relaxation with my mentor, expanding that to the head’s position, my ribs & abdomen, ...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.