I am feeling less goal-oriented, like I don’t need to force things to happen. The path is long & I feel a need to accept my place in it. Each step is a realization in & of itself. This entire reality is the buddha mind. I’m relaxing & letting go more both on & off cushion. I spent a lot of time just watching a whole range of feelings & opinions come up & pass in daily life instead of antidoting them, as I have in the past. Antidoting is skillful but only with a higher quotient of acceptance behind it. My spiritual friend assigned me a new sequence for formal practice: perfect parent -> calm abiding on the body -> calm abiding on the breath -> earth descent. Opening to the support of the ground beneath feels like riding a large spaceship or floating in the stars at times. There has been a tranquil afterglow for hours after some of the sits. I did have another deepening of perception. It is a...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.