In October, my formal practice consisted of the prayers that I had used for most of 2020 (refuge, bodhicitta, 4 immeasurables, 7 limbed prayer, dedication), as well as breath focus & the thigle breathing from last month. I added in chanting colored seed syllables at each of the chakras as a way of further cleaning the energy system. I also noticed that with the thigle breathing there tended to be an overwhelm of the tingly-bliss of the white thigle, which prompted me to start regularly adding in tummo in the beginning of my sequence, to ensure a solid base of heat. With this tummo practice, I self generated as a deity (also using the mantra) from the Vajrayana retreat I was attending, feeling a good connection to the guru & deity from that particular lineage. I started to notice how tummo is all about various “hacks” one uses with visualization, breath & movement to generate imagined & actual heat. Specifically I played with engaging vs relaxing...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.