Meta note on this log: I’m going to decrease my writing on everything other than actual practice. Too much study/conceptual stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. In April I continued with the prelim-tummo-jnanamudra sequence as a main practice. I noticed various effects that seemed to be improvements. Specifically that resting into the central channel in the moments of bliss was clear & it can take the form of electricity or spinal breathing. Also that I could tune into a sense of lust/desire to increase the bliss and vacuity, depending on point in the sequence. I thought about how I’m not really doing the serious version of tummo in that I’m not seeing the dissolutions, nor am I ready for it. But I do just need to be available in the moments of bliss, for whatever signs do emerge. I noticed qualitative differences in ascending & descending bliss processes. I also continued to experiment with brahmacarya & bandhas in the lower ...
At the intersection of deep meditation, growing up, and mood disorder.